One of the most frequently experienced emotions is regret. Feelings of regret can stem from looking back on past behaviors and decisions and believing that a better outcome may have occurred if a different choice was made. Topics that seem to elicit the most regret are education, career, romance, parenting, self, and leisure.

When having regret, a person can experience emotional, cognitive, and neurophysiological effects. Regret is often accompanied by other negative emotions such as guilt, disappointment, self-blame, and frustration. In addition, people frequently engage in cognitive exercises trying to understand why they made a poor decision or acted as they did, and what other choices they could have made to reap a better outcome. Moreover, regret activates certain areas of the cortex region of the brain (viz., lateral orbitofrontal, dorsomedial prefrontal).

Researchers differ as to what stimulates regret. Some argue that “opportunity breeds” regret—meaning that regret is strongest under conditions when a “correction” action exists (the “opportunity principle”). For example, many people experience regret over the extent of their education; yet, the opportunity to rectify this “deficit” remains open for most people. It is the availability that spurs regret.

An argument for supporting the “opportunity principle” is that there are few rationalizations that can effectively diminish the “stewing” of regret because actions that can address it are still accessible. Under this theory, feelings of regret will continue until corrective action is taken.

Other researchers, however, believe that feelings of regret are more likely to occur and more prominent under situations when there is no opportunity to rectify the decision or action. That is, the opportunity that existed before and was not taken advantage of is now lost. It can be argued that age is a factor that can affect available opportunities. Theoretically, education can be obtained at any age; however, it is not as easy for older aged individuals. Similarly, finding romance late in life is more difficult than when one is younger, and the field is more open.

Regret can be an aversive emotion impacting life-satisfaction. However, if regret is confronted appropriately, it can have a positive effect. Regret can lead to a retrospective analysis that may help people understand the reason why they thought or acted as they did. 

Adapted from Source

Outcome in the Hypothetical Present

If + Past Perfect + Would + Infinitive

• If I had bought stocks last year, I would be rich now.

• I would be rich now if I had bought stocks last year.

  • I am not rich now because I didn’t buy stocks last year.

• If she had hurried up, we wouldn’t be late.

• We wouldn’t be late if she had hurried up.

  • We are late because she didn’t hurry up.

Outcome in the Hypothetical Past

If + Past Perfect + Would + Present Perfect

• If I had waited for her, I would have arrived home too late.

• I would have arrived home too late if I had waited for her.

  • I didn’t arrive home late because I didn’t wait for her.

• If he hadn’t told me, we would‘ve slept more.

• We would‘ve slept more if he hadn’t told me.

  • We didn’t sleep more because he told me.